Suggestions please!

[pchevi]

My wife had petitioned for my change of status. Needless to say the marriage has not gone well at all. She has taken $4,000 from my bank account last Feb 2017- our bank account but my money. She has moved out of the home for about a year now and last August 2017 after I had gone to get my fingerprints taken after receiving the I 751 and the appointment notice she told me if she didn't get $5500 she would stop the process and have them deport me. At the time I didn't know that she could not deport me per say, so I gave her the money she said she was going to need for her college tuition for the next year and a half and she wouldn't ask me for money. Six months later -now, shes asking me for more money for school. The technical school shes attending and the program only cost 5,000. I researched and know. Shes asking for $3000 more and saying if she doesn't get it she will follow through with the process and stop it all and doesn't care what happens to me. I need suggestions on what to do. Please. I know giving her the money would be the easy way out but at the same time if I do I know she will be back when she needs more and I don't work three jobs for her. I work three jobs for myself and to be able to live comfortably. I don't know how divorce can take a toll on me right now if I decide to do it so that she has nothing to do with me anymore. She has over and over again told me shes worth more than any of the money I have given her and I should thank her for everything she has done for me. I told her I never asked her to start the immigration process. I was comfortable here in the US for 15 years, unable to visit my country but living comfortably here. Shes the one that was ashamed to be with an illegal immigrant and started the process. I just went along with it and paid for everything, of course without expecting any of this.

[krypton9591]

My wife had petitioned for my change of status. Needless to say the marriage has not gone well at all. She has taken $4,000 from my bank account last Feb 2017- our bank account but my money. She has moved out of the home for about a year now and last August 2017 after I had gone to get my fingerprints taken after receiving the I 751 and the appointment notice she told me if she didn't get $5500 she would stop the process and have them deport me. At the time I didn't know that she could not deport me per say, so I gave her the money she said she was going to need for her college tuition for the next year and a half and she wouldn't ask me for money. Six months later -now, shes asking me for more money for school. The technical school shes attending and the program only cost 5,000. I researched and know. Shes asking for $3000 more and saying if she doesn't get it she will follow through with the process and stop it all and doesn't care what happens to me. I need suggestions on what to do. Please. I know giving her the money would be the easy way out but at the same time if I do I know she will be back when she needs more and I don't work three jobs for her. I work three jobs for myself and to be able to live comfortably. I don't know how divorce can take a toll on me right now if I decide to do it so that she has nothing to do with me anymore. She has over and over again told me shes worth more than any of the money I have given her and I should thank her for everything she has done for me. I told her I never asked her to start the immigration process. I was comfortable here in the US for 15 years, unable to visit my country but living comfortably here. Shes the one that was ashamed to be with an illegal immigrant and started the process. I just went along with it and paid for everything, of course without expecting any of this.

My advice would be consult both an immigration and divorce attorney. this is a very unfortunate situation and I am truly sorry you are having to deal with this. however this is also a reason to get to know someone before you marry them no matter the reason for the marriage. Best of luck and I hope everything turns out well.

[pchevi]

We had been together for eight years prior to getting married. Guess you never really know anyone until you marry them. Thank you for your advice.

[newacct]

My wife had petitioned for my change of status. Needless to say the marriage has not gone well at all. She has taken $4,000 from my bank account last Feb 2017- our bank account but my money. She has moved out of the home for about a year now and last August 2017 after I had gone to get my fingerprints taken after receiving the I 751 and the appointment notice she told me if she didn't get $5500 she would stop the process and have them deport me. At the time I didn't know that she could not deport me per say, so I gave her the money she said she was going to need for her college tuition for the next year and a half and she wouldn't ask me for money. Six months later -now, shes asking me for more money for school. The technical school shes attending and the program only cost 5,000. I researched and know. Shes asking for $3000 more and saying if she doesn't get it she will follow through with the process and stop it all and doesn't care what happens to me. I need suggestions on what to do. Please. I know giving her the money would be the easy way out but at the same time if I do I know she will be back when she needs more and I don't work three jobs for her. I work three jobs for myself and to be able to live comfortably. I don't know how divorce can take a toll on me right now if I decide to do it so that she has nothing to do with me anymore. She has over and over again told me shes worth more than any of the money I have given her and I should thank her for everything she has done for me. I told her I never asked her to start the immigration process. I was comfortable here in the US for 15 years, unable to visit my country but living comfortably here. Shes the one that was ashamed to be with an illegal immigrant and started the process. I just went along with it and paid for everything, of course without expecting any of this.

Since you are already a permanent resident, she cannot "deport you" nor does she control your immigration status; that is between you and the government. Nothing she can do can prevent you from eventually removing conditions and staying in the US as a permanent resident as long as the marriage was originally bona fide when you got your green card. Don't be afraid of her threats; she can't do what she claims. Call her bluff. Tell her you're not giving her money or giving into any of her threats and she can go ahead and try to "deport you" or whatever she threatens to do.

If the two of you filed Removal of Conditions jointly as a married couple, she can indeed withdraw that. But you can (and should) file for divorce yourself and then file a I-751 by yourself on the basis of divorce. That doesn't involve her and there is nothing she can to do to stop it. Depending on how long the divorce process lasts, there may be some hassle with the Removal of Conditions process, and if it takes too long to divorce, in the worst case you may have to deal with it in immigration court where the immigration judge will wait for your divorce to finish, but that is nothing to be afraid of. In the end you will still get your conditions removed.

If she is really hateful she could even lie and claim to the government that your marriage was a sham to get you a green card (though that would implicate her too). But just because she claims it doesn't mean they will believe it. They have seen bitter ex-spouses before and they will look at the evidence.

[steadygaze79]

I'm really really sorry this is happening to you.

See newacct's comment below. I second his thoughts if you are already a green card holder - although I couldn't tell from your post.

My wife had petitioned for my change of status. Needless to say the marriage has not gone well at all. She has taken $4,000 from my bank account last Feb 2017- our bank account but my money. She has moved out of the home for about a year now and last August 2017 after I had gone to get my fingerprints taken after receiving the I 751 and the appointment notice she told me if she didn't get $5500 she would stop the process and have them deport me. At the time I didn't know that she could not deport me per say, so I gave her the money she said she was going to need for her college tuition for the next year and a half and she wouldn't ask me for money. Six months later -now, shes asking me for more money for school. The technical school shes attending and the program only cost 5,000. I researched and know. Shes asking for $3000 more and saying if she doesn't get it she will follow through with the process and stop it all and doesn't care what happens to me. I need suggestions on what to do. Please. I know giving her the money would be the easy way out but at the same time if I do I know she will be back when she needs more and I don't work three jobs for her. I work three jobs for myself and to be able to live comfortably. I don't know how divorce can take a toll on me right now if I decide to do it so that she has nothing to do with me anymore. She has over and over again told me shes worth more than any of the money I have given her and I should thank her for everything she has done for me. I told her I never asked her to start the immigration process. I was comfortable here in the US for 15 years, unable to visit my country but living comfortably here. Shes the one that was ashamed to be with an illegal immigrant and started the process. I just went along with it and paid for everything, of course without expecting any of this.

[azblk]

I'm really really sorry this is happening to you.

See newacct's comment above. I second his thoughts if you are already a green card holder - although I couldn't tell from your post.

He is talking about i-751 filing i-751 which is removal of conditions .

- - - Updated - - -

Call 1-800-DIVORCE as quickly as you can

[UScitizenFilingforspouse]

Since you are already a permanent resident, she cannot "deport you" nor does she control your immigration status; that is between you and the government. Nothing she can do can prevent you from eventually removing conditions and staying in the US as a permanent resident as long as the marriage was originally bona fide when you got your green card. Don't be afraid of her threats; she can't do what she claims. Call her bluff. Tell her you're not giving her money or giving into any of her threats and she can go ahead and try to "deport you" or whatever she threatens to do.

If the two of you filed Removal of Conditions jointly as a married couple, she can indeed withdraw that. But you can (and should) file for divorce yourself and then file a I-751 by yourself on the basis of divorce. That doesn't involve her and there is nothing she can to do to stop it. Depending on how long the divorce process lasts, there may be some hassle with the Removal of Conditions process, and if it takes too long to divorce, in the worst case you may have to deal with it in immigration court where the immigration judge will wait for your divorce to finish, but that is nothing to be afraid of. In the end you will still get your conditions removed.

If she is really hateful she could even lie and claim to the government that your marriage was a sham to get you a green card (though that would implicate her too). But just because she claims it doesn't mean they will believe it. They have seen bitter ex-spouses before and they will look at the evidence.

I am sorry this is happening to you. You must definitely seek a good lawyer to assist you in removing conditions on your own. And for everyone else, commingling of finances does not mean you have to grant access to all your wages and savings to your spouse. After all, if the marriage is new, and you're gainfully employed, having funds in a checking account may be something they're not used to and who knows? What if he/she has a gambling issue you do not know about?

Commingling means you open a joint checking account and run the household using that account. You each deposit your share for rent, utilities, groceries, entertainment and pay bills from that account. That along with joint health insurance, and being the beneficiary on life insurance and retirement plans, that's all USCIS wants to see. I don't do it that way. And many do not. But there is always the chance this could happen.

I hope this works out for you. Gather evidence. Do not delete text messages. When you respond to hers, make sure you state that you married her because you were in love with her and do not understand what's happening as it's evident that you were caught off-guard by this brouhaha.

Best of luck!