Extra Scrutiny for Shorter Relationships???

[aggiedubs]

Maybe an odd question, but thought I would see if anyone else had experience in an interview with extra scrutiny based on the fact that you were not in a relationship for a long time prior to marriage?

My husband and I met in January of 2017, moved in together in May of 2017, were married in August of 2017, and filed AOS paperwork in Sept of 2017. We have tons of proof to show our marriage is legitimate, but of course I'm concerned about them being tougher on us due to the short timeline. Still waiting on interview notice, however, just want to start preparing.

Thanks!

[ember]

Maybe an odd question, but thought I would see if anyone else had experience in an interview with extra scrutiny based on the fact that you were not in a relationship for a long time prior to marriage?

My husband and I met in January of 2017, moved in together in May of 2017, were married in August of 2017, and filed AOS paperwork in Sept of 2017. We have tons of proof to show our marriage is legitimate, but of course I'm concerned about them being tougher on us due to the short timeline. Still waiting on interview notice, however, just want to start preparing.

Thanks!

Hmmm, I'll let you know! My husband and I just got the notification that our interview has been scheduled (no paper notification yet).

We also had a short relationship - four and a half months from meeting to marriage :P
Also tons of evidence showing bona fide relationship, but I am a bit nervous that we'll be met with suspicion.

[Plz]

Hmmm, I'll let you know! My husband and I just got the notification that our interview has been scheduled (no paper notification yet).

We also had a short relationship - four and a half months from meeting to marriage :P
Also tons of evidence showing bona fide relationship, but I am a bit nervous that we'll be met with suspicion.

No need to worry if you two have a great chemistry. Who is to say when you should meet and marry someone? There is no such rule. The only time where I have seen this to be a little bit of an issue as far as immigration is concerned is couples with short relationships that file AOS right away after marriage or almost when the beneficiary?s visa is about to expire.

[aggiedubs]

No need to worry if you two have a great chemistry. Who is to say when you should meet and marry someone? There is no such rule. The only time where I have seen this to be a little bit of an issue as far as immigration is concerned is couples with short relationships that file AOS right away after marriage or almost when the beneficiary?s visa is about to expire.

Well, we filed a month after getting married and his F-1 was set to expire at the end of the year. So perhaps we will get some extra questioning. But hopefully they will see that we are a legitimate couple. Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of our PD date. My patience is lowering and my anxiety increasing. Just ready to get the notification so we can move forward.

[ember]

No need to worry if you two have a great chemistry. Who is to say when you should meet and marry someone? There is no such rule. The only time where I have seen this to be a little bit of an issue as far as immigration is concerned is couples with short relationships that file AOS right away after marriage or almost when the beneficiary?s visa is about to expire.

I know you are right, but still it's hard not to be a bit nervous when you want sooo badly for everything to go smoothly.

We filed four months after we married. I would have done it immediately, honestly, because why not? But it took WAY longer than I anticipated to get all our documents together.

[aggiedubs]

I know you are right, but still it's hard not to be a bit nervous when you want sooo badly for everything to go smoothly.

We filed four months after we married. I would have done it immediately, honestly, because why not? But it took WAY longer than I anticipated to get all our documents together.

That was my thought as well. Why delay the already long and arduous process any longer just to prove a point that you're marriage is truly legitimate? And what would be the threshold on that anyway? 3 months after? 6? A year? What does your spouse do in the meantime? Stay at home and not be able to work? Certainly there are tons of cases and this is not a unique situation. Just have to be prepared and confident. And come with backup that makes them not want to question your legitimacy.

[UScitizenFilingforspouse]

Maybe an odd question, but thought I would see if anyone else had experience in an interview with extra scrutiny based on the fact that you were not in a relationship for a long time prior to marriage?

My husband and I met in January of 2017, moved in together in May of 2017, were married in August of 2017, and filed AOS paperwork in Sept of 2017. We have tons of proof to show our marriage is legitimate, but of course I'm concerned about them being tougher on us due to the short timeline. Still waiting on interview notice, however, just want to start preparing.

Thanks!

Are you a same sex couple? We are a male same-sex couple. Things move a little faster on this side of the garden of Eden. We met 06-2016. My husband moved in 11-2016. We married 08-2017 and we filed 03-2018. I wouldn't be worried about your timeline. If you ask a female same-sex couple, you will find that things often times move faster than male same-sex couples.

I would just make sure that you show the longevity of your relationship. Anything that you may have from the time you met. Evidence of bona fide marriage does not mean that you should only submit evidence since the date your marriage took place. You do not want them to think that you met on Monday, got married on Wednesday and filed on Friday. I am exaggerating but you get the idea here.

[aggiedubs]

Are you a same sex couple? We are a male same-sex couple. Things move a little faster on this side of the garden of Eden. We met 06-2016. My husband moved in 11-2016. We married 08-2017 and we filed 03-2018. I wouldn't be worried about your timeline. If you ask a female same-sex couple, you will find that things often times move faster than male same-sex couples.

I would just make sure that you show the longevity of your relationship. Anything that you may have from the time you met. Evidence of bona fide marriage does not mean that you should only submit evidence since the date your marriage took place. You do not want them to think that you met on Monday, got married on Wednesday and filed on Friday. I am exaggerating but you get the idea here.

Hah! Yes. We are male same-sex couple.

We met in Dec of 2016. He moved in with me in May 2017. We married Aug 2017. Filed paperwork in Sep 2017. It was pretty fast on paper. But we've bought a car together. He's on my auto insurance. I'm on his health insurance. We've traveled to Vegas, DC, Austin, San Diego, and a few other spots. And I have the pictures and evidence to show that. We also have a joint banking account. I have my own accounts as well as does he. Separate credit cards. I'm currently in the process of writing my living trust which he will be the sole beneficiary. We have other small accounts together like Amazon and Spotify. We bought a dog together. I purchased my house prior to meeting him so he's not listed on my loan and that's not changing. I doubt that is a huge issue. This happens to many couples that get married later and have established assets.

I am just more concerned with our situation not being so traditional. There wasn't a big proposal but more of me asking him if he would like to marry me in a casual setting. We don't have big flashy rings. Little things like that concern me. But perhaps I am making a bigger deal out of it than I need to?

[UScitizenFilingforspouse]

Hah! Yes. We are male same-sex couple.

We met in Dec of 2016. He moved in with me in May 2017. We married Aug 2017. Filed paperwork in Sep 2017. It was pretty fast on paper. But we've bought a car together. He's on my auto insurance. I'm on his health insurance. We've traveled to Vegas, DC, Austin, San Diego, and a few other spots. And I have the pictures and evidence to show that. We also have a joint banking account. I have my own accounts as well as does he. Separate credit cards. I'm currently in the process of writing my living trust which he will be the sole beneficiary. We have other small accounts together like Amazon and Spotify. We bought a dog together. I purchased my house prior to meeting him so he's not listed on my loan and that's not changing. I doubt that is a huge issue. This happens to many couples that get married later and have established assets.

I am just more concerned with our situation not being so traditional. There wasn't a big proposal but more of me asking him if he would like to marry me in a casual setting. We don't have big flashy rings. Little things like that concern me. But perhaps I am making a bigger deal out of it than I need to?

Thank you for coming forward and sharing that you are a male same-sex couple. It helps others. USCIS is just learning about us and our idiosyncrasies; e.g., that a 17 year age difference is rather common on our side of the fence.

I would not be concerned at all. Just make sure that on your Table of Contents you use full sentences explaining what each piece of evidence is proof of. It is not their job to connect the dots. That's your job. Follow the big picture structure of Emerald2020 table of contents. She sorted her evidence into 3 main categories. That was recommended by Cali2018 and I think it's brilliant to do that *big picture* approach.

Look through my TOC, too. We got very creative. Here is the thread. https://www.immihelp.com/forum/showt...interview-tips

By the way, your husband can submit an affidavit of residence. See the screenshot below for an example. Same concept. Get it notarized. He should also be listed on your homeowner's insurance. That's good secondary proof. His driver's license should reflect your joint residential address.

Have you ever seen the show "Little Brittain"? LOL, well, it's nice to know I am not the ONLY gay in the village.

[aggiedubs]

Thank you for coming forward and sharing that you are a male same-sex couple. It helps others. USCIS is just learning about us and our idiosyncrasies; e.g., that a 17 year age difference is rather common on our side of the fence.

I would not be concerned at all. Just make sure that on your Table of Contents you use full sentences explaining what each piece of evidence is proof of. It is not their job to connect the dots. That's your job. Follow the big picture structure of Emerald2020 table of contents. She sorted her evidence into 3 main categories. That was recommended by Cali2018 and I think it's brilliant to do that *big picture* approach.

Look through my TOC, too. We got very creative. Here is the thread. https://www.immihelp.com/forum/showt...interview-tips

By the way, your husband can submit an affidavit of residence. See the screenshot below for an example. Same concept. Get it notarized. He should also be listed on your homeowner's insurance. That's good secondary proof. His driver's license should reflect your joint residential address.

Have you ever seen the show "Little Brittain"? LOL, well, it's nice to know I am not the ONLY gay in the village.

Well congratulations! You are not the only gay in the village, my friend! haha

Thanks for all the useful info. This whole process is so overwhelming. And yes, I think being gay adds an element of insecurity. Is the officer going to discriminate because they don't like gay people? And they intend to find something to deny your case? It's a little scary (especially living in Utah), but I am hopeful that we will have a nice officer that will be fair and understanding. That's my hope!

[UScitizenFilingforspouse]

Well congratulations! You are not the only gay in the village, my friend! haha

Thanks for all the useful info. This whole process is so overwhelming. And yes, I think being gay adds an element of insecurity. Is the officer going to discriminate because they don't like gay people? And they intend to find something to deny your case? It's a little scary (especially living in Utah), but I am hopeful that we will have a nice officer that will be fair and understanding. That's my hope!

SUPPOSEDLY, Immigration Services Officers go through diversity and sensitivity training. If you feel discriminated against, all you do is ask for a supervisor and for your interview to be recorded. You want a record of it. You may share with the supervisor that you are requesting his/her presence to ensure you are treated fairly and without bias. I know of a few cases where the officer was out of line but the couple did not escalate it to a supervisor, which they should have. I owe USCIS nothing and have been in the US since 1996. If that happens to me, I will come out of there straight to filing a complaint with the Office of the Inspector General, The Ombudsman and my Senator.
All that being said, most ISOs know to leave their discriminatory heads at home.

[aggiedubs]

SUPPOSEDLY, Immigration Services Officers go through diversity and sensitivity training. If you feel discriminated against, all you do is ask for a supervisor and for your interview to be recorded. You want a record of it. You may share with the supervisor that you are requesting his/her presence to ensure you are treated fairly and without bias. I know of a few cases where the officer was out of line but the couple did not escalate it to a supervisor, which they should have. I owe USCIS nothing and have been in the US since 1996. If that happens to me, I will come out of there straight to filing a complaint with the Office of the Inspector General, The Ombudsman and my Senator.
All that being said, most ISOs know to leave their discriminatory heads at home.

Good advice! Also, I assume that most ISOs don't even want to go down that route and are probably very careful in these cases given that they are not as common. But, that's just me assuming.

[ember]

Hah! Yes. We are male same-sex couple.

We met in Dec of 2016. He moved in with me in May 2017. We married Aug 2017. Filed paperwork in Sep 2017. It was pretty fast on paper. But we've bought a car together. He's on my auto insurance. I'm on his health insurance. We've traveled to Vegas, DC, Austin, San Diego, and a few other spots. And I have the pictures and evidence to show that. We also have a joint banking account. I have my own accounts as well as does he. Separate credit cards. I'm currently in the process of writing my living trust which he will be the sole beneficiary. We have other small accounts together like Amazon and Spotify. We bought a dog together. I purchased my house prior to meeting him so he's not listed on my loan and that's not changing. I doubt that is a huge issue. This happens to many couples that get married later and have established assets.

I am just more concerned with our situation not being so traditional. There wasn't a big proposal but more of me asking him if he would like to marry me in a casual setting. We don't have big flashy rings. Little things like that concern me. But perhaps I am making a bigger deal out of it than I need to?

We have a very similar situation We also didn't have a traditional proposal (we just talked about it at the **** *** table one night) and we also didn't have a traditional wedding - just did it with witnesses. And we only have gold bands, and he doesn't even wear his lol. Joint checking for bills/shared expenses and separate accounts for other things. No plan for kids currently, but we have a dog & we travel often.

I am anticipating some questions, but not problems. If something comes up, the truth is easy - we are not flashy people and we prefer traveling and experiences to spending a ton of money on 'traditional' things like fancy jewelry or weddings. And neither of us like surprises - so who would have proposed to whom??

We will both be fine I think

Edit - they censored the name of the room where people cook and eat?????

k i t c h e n

[UScitizenFilingforspouse]

We have a very similar situation We also didn't have a traditional proposal (we just talked about it at the **** *** table one night) and we also didn't have a traditional wedding - just did it with witnesses. And we only have gold bands, and he doesn't even wear his lol. Joint checking for bills/shared expenses and separate accounts for other things. No plan for kids currently, but we have a dog & we travel often.

I am anticipating some questions, but not problems. If something comes up, the truth is easy - we are not flashy people and we prefer traveling and experiences to spending a ton of money on 'traditional' things like fancy jewelry or weddings. And neither of us like surprises - so who would have proposed to whom??

We will both be fine I think

Edit - they censored the name of the room where people cook and eat?????

k i t c h e n

No grandiose proposal or big wedding here either. I called city hall asking if we could get married that same afternoon. They said they didn't have any judges available SOOOO we figured it was such a nice day that we got ready to go play tennis instead. Then the phone rang. A judge had just become available and could marry us in 2 hours. Sure! Let's do it. We were married two hours later. No rings/bands. We shopped for the rings after we left city hall. Our first "meal" as a married couple was Starbucks at the Rosedale Mall in Edina, MN.

We got tungsten wedding bands. Tungsten is remarkable for its robustness, especially the fact that it has the highest melting point of all the elements discovered, melting at 3422 ?C (6192 ?F). It also has the highest boiling point, at 5930 ?C (10706 ?F). We figured we wanted the metal to represent how strong we want our marriage to be.

So that's our simple story. I remember the judge fondly. He is Jewish and that is relevant because the Jewish community were very vocal about equal rights for the LGBTQ community in Minnesota when the state wanted to amend the constitution and ban same sex marriage. So it was nice that the Judge was Jewish and he was not just doing it to do it. We didn't have vows so we repeated these long vows he had memorized, OR maybe he came up with them on the spot. Either way, it was a nice moment.

To anyone reading this, your story is your story and you do not need to embellish it for anyone. Doing so would be lying and that can easily snowball. There's no need to.

[cali2018]

I think everyone has to be nervous during this whole process, the wait time alone is something else. As for extra scrunity, I expect and somewhat welcome it I prefer to know the IO is doing their job and asks everything upfront versus flagging something later and dragging for 3 months like some people.

Filed 60 days after were married. Got married at city hall, because we got sick of long distance and in our culture cannot live under one roof without that commitment. Later on got married by a religous official, and some family there but again was very similar to city hall style. As much as our culture loves large weddings, fancy parties and all that joy. That would require a lot of planning in another country and I have zero family/friends in the USA so maybe if they made that AP thing a bit easier to get I would have considered planning such things. For now that party and dancing day shall be put for a later day. Same with the honeymoon would have really liked to goto the south of italy for a couple weeks, if only that AP thing ever came.

While I have months of planning documents for her ring, videos, etc...The bands was done rather quickly and mine is a simple one made of cobalt. Used to eat out all the time while dating but as soon as got married and slept in same bed was a lot of cheese/tea/bread at home.

Truly I would have filed a week after getting married if I could go back in time. If the IO questioned such a thing, I would explain that the EAD/AP timeline is painful enough that why would I wait a day after my applicaiton was ready. It is USCIS own processes and procedures.

So like others rather simple story in some way and our own story. Totally agree with everyone that we each have our own story and how it works. That said, I will let you all know come Thursday if the IO will think the same way .