Need help/advice... Interview soon and marriage on the rocks

[throwawayacct]

This is hard for me but I don't know where else to go. I know an immigration attorney is an option but I'm worried about the cost and the urgency.

We married around the middle of 2017 and sent in our AOS package (i-130, i-485, i-864, i-131, and whatever else) shortly thereafter. Things were never perfect but no one could expect them to be. But around November of last year things took a major turn for the worse. We are in marriage therapy and when we're there I have some hope that we're making progress but that hope gets shut down at home most of the time. Now we openly talk about what it would be like to split up, though neither of us know too much about lawyers and all that stuff. All the while I'm here with some hope we can figure it out which is making it even harder.

And with all that going on, after almost a year and a half, our interview is scheduled for less than a week from now. I don't know what to do. If she leaves I guess I'd still be financially responsible for like 10 years? What does that entail? She has medical problems so would I be on the hook for every medical bill? We have a large income gap.

Would I be expected to pay for housing and all of that stuff, since it would be difficult for her to afford it on her own? Is there any legitimate reason I should skip the interview? I respect her so deportation isn't something I want to cause.

Sorry if this was incoherent. Hope someone reads this that can help with all the stuff going through my mind.

[yvc]

This is hard for me but I don't know where else to go. I know an immigration attorney is an option but I'm worried about the cost and the urgency.

We married around the middle of 2017 and sent in our AOS package (i-130, i-485, i-864, i-131, and whatever else) shortly thereafter. Things were never perfect but no one could expect them to be. But around November of last year things took a major turn for the worse. We are in marriage therapy and when we're there I have some hope that we're making progress but that hope gets shut down at home most of the time. Now we openly talk about what it would be like to split up, though neither of us know too much about lawyers and all that stuff. All the while I'm here with some hope we can figure it out which is making it even harder.

And with all that going on, after almost a year and a half, our interview is scheduled for less than a week from now. I don't know what to do. If she leaves I guess I'd still be financially responsible for like 10 years? What does that entail? She has medical problems so would I be on the hook for every medical bill? We have a large income gap.

Would I be expected to pay for housing and all of that stuff, since it would be difficult for her to afford it on her own? Is there any legitimate reason I should skip the interview? I respect her so deportation isn't something I want to cause.

Sorry if this was incoherent. Hope someone reads this that can help with all the stuff going through my mind.

Sounds very complicated. Just a personal advice, if you still love her or have loved her before, at least help her to go through the interview and prove that the marriage was entered in good faith? If you skip interview or divorce her now, first she will be placed into deportation proceeding (very likely); second, she could be charged/suspected for marriage fraud (potentially). This will not be a good record and likely to stay on for forever. Given the fact that you have tried marriage therapy, I am sure you both have loved or still love each other. Therefore, you wouldn't want such a thing happen to her and will be guilty if you do.

If your marriage still doesn't work out after a few months, you can still consider other options. From my knowledge, you are not responsible for every medical bill that your spouse has if you get divorced, but you will have to pay her alimony every month. Your assets will also be split into half unless you got a prenup before marriage. In any case, this is the worst option to consider. I hope you guys work out. Sometimes we get emotional and impatient for little things. No one is perfect. Give it some time and be more understanding for each other. Good luck!

[Guest]

First, I am sorry about your situation.

If your marriage is not working out, it would be disingenuous to suggest that it is to an Interviewing Officer. If you lie during the interview, it could be bad news for both of you down the road. That being said, many marriages hit rough patches and many couples pull through and have successful, happy marriages. If the two of you are truly trying to make things work, and if you believe that there is a chance for you, then I do not personally see the downside of going to the interview.

Regarding your concern about her bills, I think that's something you should consult a lawyer about. I did a bunch of research on my own back when I was filling out the forms to support my spouse and I still don't feel like I have a good handle on it. I know they can sue you for support in some cases, and I know that if they use any means tested benefit (food stamps, etc.), you are responsible for repayment and the agency can sue you for repayment. Your responsibility as a sponsor lasts until the immigrant becomes a citizen, works for 10 years (technically 40 quarters), loses their LPR status, or is removed. Or if either of you die. Since she wouldn't ~have~ to naturalize after becoming an LPR, the worst-case scenario is that she becomes an LPR, you divorce, she removes the conditions on her green card by herself, and then remains an LPR forever and doesn't work and uses benefits and makes you pay everything. Probably not very likely. However, if I understand it correctly, that is a technical possibility. More likely is that she becomes an LPR, and then a citizen after either 3 years (you stay together) or 5 years (you divorce) and your obligation ends and in the meantime she is working and not using public benefits. Or she decides to go back and eventually abandons her LPR status.

It seems to me (as someone who knows only the few details in the paragraph you wrote) that you are at a point where you have two options - (1) commit to the marriage and go through with the interview, knowing that if things don't work out, you may be held financially responsible but that hopefully they will work out and you will both be happy and you are still fully in the relationship, or (2) withdraw your I-130 Petition, inform USCIS you will not finalize the process, and get divorced.

You should probably not skip the interview if you think that the marriage will work out, as that would cause additional problems down the road if you had to re-file.

Good luck!

This is hard for me but I don't know where else to go. I know an immigration attorney is an option but I'm worried about the cost and the urgency.

We married around the middle of 2017 and sent in our AOS package (i-130, i-485, i-864, i-131, and whatever else) shortly thereafter. Things were never perfect but no one could expect them to be. But around November of last year things took a major turn for the worse. We are in marriage therapy and when we're there I have some hope that we're making progress but that hope gets shut down at home most of the time. Now we openly talk about what it would be like to split up, though neither of us know too much about lawyers and all that stuff. All the while I'm here with some hope we can figure it out which is making it even harder.

And with all that going on, after almost a year and a half, our interview is scheduled for less than a week from now. I don't know what to do. If she leaves I guess I'd still be financially responsible for like 10 years? What does that entail? She has medical problems so would I be on the hook for every medical bill? We have a large income gap.

Would I be expected to pay for housing and all of that stuff, since it would be difficult for her to afford it on her own? Is there any legitimate reason I should skip the interview? I respect her so deportation isn't something I want to cause.

Sorry if this was incoherent. Hope someone reads this that can help with all the stuff going through my mind.