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Stupid thing done by my wife: shoplifting...ashamed..now what to do?

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  • Stupid thing done by my wife: shoplifting...ashamed..now what to do?

    Hello All,

    i am an indian working in USA(bay area) on H1B visa, staying with my family of wife and 2 kids. my wife is a housewife.

    2 weeks back, my wife has done a stupidest thing in her life (that i have seen in more than a decade of marriage),
    she took some items(200$ worth) from JC Penny. and when she came out of that shop, the shop person and another lady stopped her
    and asking her to come inside and took her into inside a room. Immediately she realized and felt ashamed of what she has done, agreed to what
    she has done. she felt ashamed of herself, and being panic, agreed striaghtaway. That person asked her to write on a
    paper taht she has stolen those, and with signature on two papers. she with the guiltiness and ashamed, did whatever
    he asked her to do. he even a took a photograph of her. she pleaded him a lot saying she has done first time,
    please i will pay, asking him to leave her. later he called a lady cop. my wife agreed
    infront of that cop also that she has done. The lady cop wrote the "yellow slip", in which she wrote my wife's details,
    and "459.5 PC Shoplifting" and marked "Booking required" and "Misdemeanor" and "date" when she has to appear in court.
    Also the cop asked my wife to write an apology letter to JCPenny. and my wife wrote the letter and signed.

    After coming home, after lot of crying, she told me what happened. she is alot ashamed on what she has done, relaizing
    how she could do such thing in her life, feeling so guilty, hating herself. and since it happened, we both are
    silently crying inside the closed doors, as we cannot share this to anybody.

    we are deeply ashamed, and worrying a lot about our future. i am on H1B here,,,and what happens now...what to do??

    i have several questions...please help us..

    1) what should we do now? should she plead guilty? what happens if so?
    2) as per suggestions in internet, i am planning to consult a criminal immigration lawyer.
    But whom to contact, i dont know? i am searching in internet. can somebody please let us know good
    criminal immigration lawyer for this in bay area?

    3) as per suggestion in some forums, should she not plead guilty? but JC Penny people have the proof..right?
    what happens if she does not plead guilty? what happens if it is proved? what is better, pleading guilty or not?

    4) what sentence she may likely get? (we are getting panicked even to think of this)
    5) I am on H1B..she is on H4 visa...what happens to our status? would the govt deport her? (our hearts would be borken if we happen to hear that)
    6) if i go to india, i have to go for H1B stamping (as I recently transferred from L1 to H1B...I got chance to work in USA after several years of trial and hardwork).
    would she get visa stamping? what are the chances of her getting visa?

    Since it happened, we are every second feeling ashamed and panicking...please, please ..somebody help..thanks for reading my lengthy description of the problem.

  • #2
    You should consider having your wife evaluated for a stress-related problem and possible mental health issues.

    --Ray B

    Originally posted by stupidthinginlife View Post
    Hello All,

    i am an indian working in USA(bay area) on H1B visa, staying with my family of wife and 2 kids. my wife is a housewife.

    2 weeks back, my wife has done a stupidest thing in her life (that i have seen in more than a decade of marriage),
    she took some items(200$ worth) from JC Penny. and when she came out of that shop, the shop person and another lady stopped her
    and asking her to come inside and took her into inside a room. Immediately she realized and felt ashamed of what she has done, agreed to what
    she has done. she felt ashamed of herself, and being panic, agreed striaghtaway. That person asked her to write on a
    paper taht she has stolen those, and with signature on two papers. she with the guiltiness and ashamed, did whatever
    he asked her to do. he even a took a photograph of her. she pleaded him a lot saying she has done first time,
    please i will pay, asking him to leave her. later he called a lady cop. my wife agreed
    infront of that cop also that she has done. The lady cop wrote the "yellow slip", in which she wrote my wife's details,
    and "459.5 PC Shoplifting" and marked "Booking required" and "Misdemeanor" and "date" when she has to appear in court.
    Also the cop asked my wife to write an apology letter to JCPenny. and my wife wrote the letter and signed.

    After coming home, after lot of crying, she told me what happened. she is alot ashamed on what she has done, relaizing
    how she could do such thing in her life, feeling so guilty, hating herself. and since it happened, we both are
    silently crying inside the closed doors, as we cannot share this to anybody.

    we are deeply ashamed, and worrying a lot about our future. i am on H1B here,,,and what happens now...what to do??

    i have several questions...please help us..

    1) what should we do now? should she plead guilty? what happens if so?
    2) as per suggestions in internet, i am planning to consult a criminal immigration lawyer.
    But whom to contact, i dont know? i am searching in internet. can somebody please let us know good
    criminal immigration lawyer for this in bay area?

    3) as per suggestion in some forums, should she not plead guilty? but JC Penny people have the proof..right?
    what happens if she does not plead guilty? what happens if it is proved? what is better, pleading guilty or not?

    4) what sentence she may likely get? (we are getting panicked even to think of this)
    5) I am on H1B..she is on H4 visa...what happens to our status? would the govt deport her? (our hearts would be borken if we happen to hear that)
    6) if i go to india, i have to go for H1B stamping (as I recently transferred from L1 to H1B...I got chance to work in USA after several years of trial and hardwork).
    would she get visa stamping? what are the chances of her getting visa?

    Since it happened, we are every second feeling ashamed and panicking...please, please ..somebody help..thanks for reading my lengthy description of the problem.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by rayb View Post
      You should consider having your wife evaluated for a stress-related problem and possible mental health issues.

      --Ray B
      thanks for replying. but what is this for? does that help any way.

      Comment


      • #4
        It may help her in three ways:

        1. Proof of professional counselling and evaluation may mitigate the sentence and result in a court alternative to a criminal conviction.
        2. It will provide proof to USCIS in the future that she had a mental illness issue, rather than a criminal issue, and that she sought and received treatment
        3. IT MAY PROVIDE YOUR WIFE THE TREATMENT SHE APPARENTLY NEEDS FOR BEHAVIOR THAT IS OFTEN REFLECTIVE OF MARRIAGE OR PERSONAL SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEMS.

        Can you really say that you weren't aware of any mental problems of your wife until she was arrested in the store?

        Immigrants and those in the U.S. on temporary visas are especially vulnerable to consequences of problem behavior that would not ordinarily be serious to U.S. citizens. Being caught shoplifting one time is probably indicative of your wife having done this before, but without getting caught.

        --Ray B

        Originally posted by stupidthinginlife View Post
        thanks for replying. but what is this for? does that help any way.

        Comment


        • #5
          Stupid thing done by my wife: shoplifting...ashamed..now what to do?

          Plea no contact and take the deal that the prescuter going to give you and you will be fin avery one makes mistake don't worry to mach just make sure it dose not heaped aging

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm not so sure that this would be the best way to go. The original poster is concerned about possible consequence of a shoplifting conviction on future immigration procedures.

            --Ray B

            Originally posted by natealbania View Post
            Plea no contact and take the deal that the prescuter going to give you and you will be fin avery one makes mistake don't worry to mach just make sure it dose not heaped aging

            Comment

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