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I've been graduated from college for a little over a year. In college I had a steady job till I came undone broke down told my boss all my thoughts and had to haven friends help me leave because I couldn't stop sobbing. I'm a bigger guy so it was embarrassing to say the least.
Since them I feel that I'm never happy anywhere I work. Since I got fired/quit I've had 3 jobs and am on number 4. The longest I stayed at one since was a year. The shortest was a month till I broke down again and my wife asked me to leave because she recognizes my signs by now.
Anyway I need to work but no matter what I do I eventually hate. Getting up is as appealing as stabbing a fork in my arm. I've learned my thoughts are never correct about situations. I'm very paranoid and will shut down. I want to quick again when an office job opens up at my old university. My problem is I can't tell anymore whats really a problem or if my mind is creating these problems. I know I'm swinging into to depression again, I ache and sleep all the time I can.
I guess I'm just worried ill screw up by leaving because the second I change job mind will go off its hinges and ill I wind up hating life all over. Any coping skills I can use? Helpful advise? Keep in mind I've been to therapists, studied psychology and am on a tranquilizer to keeps thoughts at bay but its simply not enough anymore.
Since them I feel that I'm never happy anywhere I work. Since I got fired/quit I've had 3 jobs and am on number 4. The longest I stayed at one since was a year. The shortest was a month till I broke down again and my wife asked me to leave because she recognizes my signs by now.
Anyway I need to work but no matter what I do I eventually hate. Getting up is as appealing as stabbing a fork in my arm. I've learned my thoughts are never correct about situations. I'm very paranoid and will shut down. I want to quick again when an office job opens up at my old university. My problem is I can't tell anymore whats really a problem or if my mind is creating these problems. I know I'm swinging into to depression again, I ache and sleep all the time I can.
I guess I'm just worried ill screw up by leaving because the second I change job mind will go off its hinges and ill I wind up hating life all over. Any coping skills I can use? Helpful advise? Keep in mind I've been to therapists, studied psychology and am on a tranquilizer to keeps thoughts at bay but its simply not enough anymore.
