White girls and Indian guys in the USA

[chakli_pandu]

Hi All,

You are going to love Indian men for thinking this way!!! Really worth the read...one of the BEST e-mails I've received in a long time!!

It seems that an article was written to a well-founded magazine, by an English woman who requested a response from Indian men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more)!!!

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Dear Editor:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Indian male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to an Indian male, good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Indian female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Indian women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Indian men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world If Indian women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Indian men about why we white women are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius,Berry Gordy, BillyBlanks, Larry Fishburne, Jesley Snipes...I could go on and on.
But,right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us.

Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Indian men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA.
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The Response:

Dear Editor:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Indian man. I studied from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Non-White men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Indian men date white women.

Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Indian men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The Indian girls in my neighborhood were raised traditionally. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of Indian males date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Indian men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Indian women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many Indian men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous Indian men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women.

I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Indian men date white women. Non-Whites like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut,Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong Non-White women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire Non-White women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want the 'Disgusted White Girl' to be misinformed.

Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when Non-White Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was Non-White women who were breastfeeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the Non-White woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.

Indian women were born with two strikes against them: being Non-White and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the Indian women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Indian Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colours and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about Indian women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with Indian women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin. If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the Non-White woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understand my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Signed,
Indian Royalty.

[bathu]

Good one .. Hats Off to the guy who responded to the White Girl .

[498help]

seems like both are off to a tangent and do not reflect the typical scenario. Neither are white women easy ...easy to control nor are Indian women docile and brow beaten.

[vishwajeeth]

bravo brother

bravo brother ,,,, excellent responce,,,,,, 10/10,,,,,,,,
but again no offences taken or given,,,
bye
Triger

[kalsriv]

Stupidity anyways.....

Most of the White Girls that I saw here marrying Indian guys are generally nurses marrying doctors. I love your skin, you love my money... Its just exploiting each other and these relationships do not make any sense.

[gemini]

Agreed...

Both are off tangent... Indian men want white girls and indian girls want white men, WTH! Even within our country, it has always been the tradition to yearn for paler skin, to think that paler skinned are the beautiful and the superior ones. Before shaking your head angrily and refuting me vehemently, think about it... how many dark skinned girls in your class had a steady guy?? Would you prefer a dark skinned girl over a pale skinned? I'm surprised about the hypocrisy we show here... I respect the white women for their smartness and independence. But at the same time, I hate them for their bigotry, shallowness and superiority complex. I admire indian women for their strength and patience. But I look down on them for their immaturity and ignorance.

In America, Indians as a community have mixed response. You might make great friends as well as take some racist crap. If we don't position ourselves as equals, if not superior, to the western countries by raising our self-esteem, we will surely be scoffed at and shunned. How many of you have faced the question "Are you Indian?" with an uncomfortable look and slightly knotted brows?

Quit going behind white skin like dogs... not just indian men, even indian girls; they end up with a white guy, however trashy he is and "assume" that it is prestige and a privilege. You should see the way those girls look at you when they are with a white guy... duhh!! And a female white friend of mine said that Indian guys are somewhat considered a pestilence due to their continuous stalking and irritating manners, that too with a stupid, broken english. No offence in particular to anybody, but generally speaking. We are regarded in par with the illegal mexican immigrants! What would I respond to her? I just mumbled a half-baked answer about not all are like that, yada yada yada.

We should all remember one thing.. this country was "accidentally" discovered while trying to find a route to OUR country, OUR INDIA. We should be proud of who we are and not be afraid or ashamed to accept our identity. Whatever I do, I shall only be an Indian all my life. That being said, I will be tolerant to other nationalities too and wouldn't mind dating a woman regardless of her skin colour. Let's repay the world back in its own coin... give no crap, take no crap, Jai Hind!

[stillblazin]

First of all, let me say some things.

I hate ignorance.
I hate that stupid ignorant people in america especially don't know the difference between the indians and the native americans.
I hate that they assume all brown skin people are the same.
However I hate that all ignorant people in general, like some indians who think all white skinned people are the same.

That said..
Here are some logical answers.
In America, girls do often lose their virginity before marriage, but its actually the opposite in india. In US, virginity is considered stuck up for girls and made fun of for men for not losing it. In india it's different, virginity for women is considered normal and they wont give it up b4 marriage.

So yea white women are easier than indian women. The average normal indian man would indeed have sex with a white girl than an indian girl. I'm not stating this because the white race is better, because you (if your not ignorant) and I both know that they are equal in the big picture. So another reason why Indian men may choose a whtie girl is because of they have a better chance. Better chance due to MAJORITY. For instance, in my college days in PA, I had a crush on a white girl, there were at most 2! indian girls in the entire college. So obvious isnt it, white majority, indian minority.

In india, lighter skin is usually associated with more wealth. If you lived in India you would know this.
Eventhough this supposition may be hard to imagine, I do think it will make the point, if suppose black indians were on top of the wealth and white indians were part of the poor because well black workers who work int he sun all day get paid alot alot alot, and because they get paid alot, they can take better care of themselves and whites who only do book work and stay inside get paid little. Now I think indian men would prefer the black indian girls. So I dont think its SKIN color, I think its wealth and success and maybe the quality of health due to wealth and success that attracts men.

Back to reality, its understandable indian men go for the fairer skin, or if he's in US, WHITE girls. However this does not automatically mean the indian man wants to marry the white girl. As he will probably realize marriage needs alot more work now, and even though he can get the white girl to have sex with him, it doesnt mean he's ready to respect the differences and marry. Eventually the HIgher possibility is that he will marry an indian girl instead because of culture, commitment. And Yes, indian women are more commited to relationships than white. Just look at the divorce stats.

I sometimes do sense that white people in general have a superiority complex. I can't do anything about this. I guess in general it is true that on average they have more wealth than the non white. Average in the whole world. However in America or Britain, the average indian probably makes alot more than the average american. Superiority complex isnt exactly a good thing and its not set in stone and there is a balance to this. Let me explain, indian have superiority complex when studying, yes I do think im smarter than the whiteys. On the other hand, whites think they are bigger than us. Then on the other hand, BLACKS think they are bigger and badder than the whites. When any ONE person takes their time to realize if they actually are inferior to another race in the big picture, eventually he will realize one thing, he's not inferior. Individually he may feel so to his surrounding but thats different.

Inferiority complex due to race is a bad thing, and no Indian should feel that way. India is a country with a far far more rich culture than America, and its obvious that im saying this because america is a young culture and only developed when they came over and killed the natives. There are so many things that Indians can take pride in. One of the oldest cultures and religion and 50 countries in one and so many varieties of tasty foods and spices.

Anyways, to sum things up, indian men like all men are I guess like dogs, they want sex. In US, white women because they dont always go with the -only sex after marriage- thing are easiER than indian women, so indian men go for them. Understandable.

SO lets stop here and not start a race war over which is better than the other. I GUARANTEE YOU, neither side will win.

If you can make interracial relationship work, then hats off to you. But don't infer something about the whole from a tiny matter.

Balance and equality exists whether you think so or not.

[barbie]

I'm in it, therefore I know.

To those on here that are outsiders and not totally aware of what it is truly like to date an Indian gentlemen as a caucasian (use the politically correct term, we're now past white and brown) woman. I recently became engaged to my dream husband, and he is Indian. His family is originally from India, however he has never lived there. He lost his virginity to surprise an INDIAN girl. He tried over and over to please his parents by dating Indian women. He turned to the "lighter side" to caucasian women for a few reasons. 1. Indian women are in his words "unattractive" 2. Indian women are far to bossy 3. Indian women think they are "entitled" to a lifestyle without having to work for it and 4. Indian women want to marry an Indian guy because they have been told this is what you must do since birth. His parents told him that if he was to marry a "white" girl they would disown him. What are their reasons??? "A white girl won't take good care of us like an Indian girl would." Although it may be tradition in INDIA for the in-laws to move in to the home...we are in America now. If you keep up with that attitude Indian parents, you are most certainly not going to be taken care of. A good "Indian" wife has nothing better to do in her day than drive around in her Toyota and take care of the in-laws. A good caucasian daughter will be graduating from graduate school, earning and living in a career, and taking care of the husband and children...not being run all over like a "good" Indian wife. I do not expect to travel to India, live there, and have all of India adapt to my beliefs, therefore those minorities coming here late in life should learn that America is not going to drop and start believing such as they do. Feeling like Americans should adapt to them is very ethnocentric and irrational. America is a country of freedom where you can date, have sex with, or marry whomever you please without repercussions. It is far too irrational to hate your future daughter-in-law whom you have never met based on her skin color...we have a word for that here in America, it's call RACISM. There are many of my future husband's Indian friends whom date white girls but are forced to marry Indian girls by their parents. News to you, men will do what they want, family influence or not. My fiance asked me to marry him anyway, without family approval. He is a man, not a boy and will marry and have children and a life that he wants, not what his parents want. After all, he is the one that has to live through the life, not his parents. So again, why do Indian men not want Indian women...I think it is because they grow up to be this bossy old bitter no hobby Indian wife that has nothing better to do than boss around their children and interfere in their lives...just because it was done to them. Good luck to those men who decide to live the life your parents wished for you. Hope doing what mommy and daddy says at the age of 35 makes you happy. Grow up, be a man, and do what YOU want. You're in America now...it's allowed.
No offense, and none taken-
-Barbie

[jr_dmp]

Indian Men and White Women

I can't say why Indian men in America date and marry white American (or European) women specifically but I think it is more complex than color. Indian women in America are the most highly educated women in America. If all of these Indian female academics and writers (and there are a lot of them) whine about the Indian-American man being treated like a prince and demanding his wife to be "docile"...they are equally blind to their own upbringing in bourgeois middle class Indian families. I have dated at least three (and know several more) Indian females who had the following characteristics: 1.) they have subscribed (even if it is not in their personal experience) to the idea that in Indian culture, women are powerless. In other words, they believe what the White women/White men "Liberal" Academics have said to "save" brown women from brown men; 2.) they resent their mothers and see their parents' relationship (forged in another time and place in India) as the model they want to avoid. In wanting this, they project every negative quality/fear/anxiety they have onto Indian men and therefore demand so much as to make a relationship with them (on equal terms, ironically) impossible; 3.) they get angry at the slightest negligence, often feel that you should be lucky to be with them (after all, there are many white men and black men who want them); 4.) they want the Indian-American man to be perfect: educated, well-employed, has time for them, will ignore his parents for them to the extreme, will be poets, and have that "extra" special something. No thanks... Indian men are generous (though many of them are dolts who are boring because they too have been brainwashed to be so by their parents), they are willing to adapt and support women, and many of them are very sweet, caring, and imaginative beings. If white women (or others) appreciate this and treat them in a way that doesn't attempt to DOMINATE them (as Indian women want to do), then how can you fault him for not dating -- and even marrying -- them.

[dieanotherday]

Ok, after seeing this thread I've came up with another question.

Why do Indians consider themselves as white?
All of my Indian friends deny their race as Asians and call themselves Americans just because they were born here.
They go around and make fun of other Asian's dialects and physical appearances.
One of my friend really thinks that others consider him as "white", and he likes it that way.

Why is this so? Are American Indians embarrased to be Indians?
If I was an Indian and I go up to someone else, his/her first impression of me would be that I am Indian and not a white American.

This concept is very prevalent among the Koreans as well.

[nahor]

pathetic

Its pathetic to read the white woman's opinions on why Indian men date or marry or whatever ... white women. Your man must have fallen in love with you for who you are. But that does not mean that all Indian men are like your man. If only you heard the things Indian men talk about white women, you would know that most use you only for the momentary physical part.
For long term relationships and family, Indian men prefer Indian women.
Indian women on the streets may give you the looks not because they are jealous-remember there are half a billion of them in this world-so no competition. They give you looks because the only thought going through their mind is that you two are sleeping around -its rather a dirty look they are giving you and PLEASE DO NOT MISTAKE IT FOR JEALOUSY.
I cannot but laugh at your comments that indian women are not preferred because they are fat, loud mean etc. Haven't you seen majority of white women that are Obese, loud, mean with no moral values-who sleep with any man at the drop of a hat. COMMON -GET REAL.
Your man may have have told you these as his reasons for choosing you because he knows you have an inflatable ego, need it boosted like this at the cost of slandering indian women so that you won't sleep with another guy that you meet round the corner. You white women are too easy.

Good luck sister and remember that the world looks at you white women as nothing more than physical objects.

[bheja]

"Why do Indians consider themselves as white?
All of my Indian friends deny their race as Asians and call themselves Americans just because they were born here.
They go around and make fun of other Asian's dialects and physical appearances.
One of my friend really thinks that others consider him as "white", and he likes it that way."


Dude, the term "Indian" is not defined only by the American born Indians you met. They are American citizens and are more American than anything. I don't understand why you expect American born Indians to introduce themselves as Indain while you don't expect an American born Irish to introduce himself as Irish? I am surprised that in US even a naturalised white coming from some Polish village is called "American" while fourth generation black or brown guys are still called Afro-American or Asian-American.

Now my question is why white people call themsleves as American and not as Slovakian or Irish or something like that? Why is the term European American not used as often as Afro American is used?

Noffence given, no offence taken!

[diamondcolosus]

You are soo true barbie....HATS OFF...!!!!!!!!

[diamondcolosus]

I guess losing virginity....is ok.....but gettin knocked up.....dumped is bad.....

[shalimarsajan]

Hello indian have their VALUES for real..

Hello indian have their VALUES for real..
I AM SORRY TO BE RUDE AND HARSH HERE..i WIL TELL THAT ALL TH usA AND OTHER COUNTRIES LIKE AUSTLIAN ARE FINACIALLY GOOD IN POSITION..THIS ARE TEHE JUNK NATIONS WHERE ALL THE HISTORY WILL TELL YOU..ALL THE CRIMANLS ARE BE JAILED IN THE PAST..ABOUT AND THE USA DOEN`T BELONGS TO THE REAL WESTERNERS THOSE WHO LEFT THEIR OWN LAND FROM AROUND THE WORLD SETTLED THEIR ON CALLED USA..THROUGH YEARS AND DECADES..REAL AMERICAN ARE RED INDIANS!!!!!!NO ON HAS THE RIGHT TO BE CALLED AS ...US PERSONAL , ALL HAVE TO BE STRANGERS FROM DIFFERENT NATIONS OTHER THAN THEM..ANY WAY GO FOR THE PAST TIME HISTORICAL ADVENTURE ..SEE THE MOVIE CALLED ALEXANDER THE GREAT ..IT WILL EXPLAIN THE GREAY FOR THE WHITE AND WHAT WAS TH ATLITUDE..THEN WHERE DID HE FALL DOWN..THE POWERFUL NATION CALLED INDIA SO THE POWER OF CULTUE NA STRENGTH CAN BE NEVER BE COMPARED TO THE INDIAN MINDS AND LIFE ..HOW MUCH IS THE DIVORSE IN US AND HOW MUCH IS IT INDIA MAY BE THE COMPARING FACTORS .WILL NOT BE GOOD .FOR THIS AND HOW WILL THE LIFE OF THOSE DIFFERENT CULTURE CAN BE COMPARED..SORRY TO SEE THAT FEW HAVE BAD FEELINGSAND HAVE THE MIND AGAINTS INDIANS EVEN IF THEY ARE AWAY FROM THEM OR NOT NEAR THEM..ONCE WHITE RULED INDIA ..BRITISH NOW DIVIDE AND RULE DOENT WORK BUT STILL FIGHTING HERE WITH POWER THEY HAVE CALLED SUPERMACY....THEN HERE INTERNET.ALL THE THINGS ARE FOOLS THINKING....ANYWAY GOOD TO LISTEN ALL THIS...SAJAN..