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Thanks for reading my long marriage problem but felt like posting complete history to get all your thoughts
**** **** **** *
Background of my sad marriage situation.
1. I got married in India in 2003, we are hindu brahmins. and my wife is working.
2. I Was living with parents after marriage for a year, my wife was not happy living with
them then one day she had a big quarrel with my parents and me and she ran away from home
and she threatened to put a case against me unless I stay apart from my parents so my
father asked me to stay apart to avoid any further quarrel with her.
3. So I moved out of my parents house by purchasing a house in 2005 on loan.
4. 2006 - My wife got a chance to visit USA on B1 for 3 months from her company, So she
started bugging me to look for job opportunities in the US. however we used to have regular
quarrels when ever I went to my parents place. She completely stopped talking to my parents
and also stopped visiting them also.
5. 2007 - I Changed my job and moved to a company which was sending people to US
ondeputation. I travelled to USA on a short visit same year. once my parents wanted to
visit my house but she quarrelled and didnot allow them to enter the house, so they never
visited my house, I only used to visit them once in 15 days.
6. 2008 - My wife again came to the US for a short visit. and started bugging me to apply
for long term visa as her company was willing to send her.we used to have regular fights
even if I would talk to my parents once a week.She was quarrelling and threatening me not
go meet them even during festivals. Also her sister started living in my house as she came
in search of job.
7. 2009 Jan - I got my work visa and got a long term project in the US and she asked me to
go ahead and take the opportunity and she will follow me from her job.
8. 2009 April - My father under went By-Pass surgery and so I went back to india for a
month and didnot want to come back and wanted to look after him however my wife started
threatening me that if I stay with my parents and leave my US opportunity, she will put a
false harrassment case against me. so I came back to USA after my father was discharged
from hospital.
9. 2009 June - Her work Visa got stamped. and she told me she would come by october.
10. 2009 october - She could not get through the project so she started bugging me to leave
my job and join her.
11. 2009 dec - She started threatening that if I dont write the purchased house in her
name, she will put a false dowry harrassment case on my parents and me.and if I give the
house she will amicably divorce me.
12. 2010 Jan - She got another opportunity to travel to USA, so she asked me to stay in the
same project and wanted to join and continue with the marriage,
13. 2010 March - She got to know that she was again not selected in her project for onsite.
So she has got very very frustrated and she called my office and reported false harrassment
against her from me and asked them to send me back to India. But company didnot take any
action as luckily the telephone operator knew about me.
14. Her parents are living with her in my house now. I am paying full EMI for the house.
15. She also sent a false suicide letter to her manager in her company blaming me and my
parents for her to commit sucide.
16. Now she is making false alegations on me by writing mails to my companies ombudsperson
and other higher authorities that she wants me to come back leaving the job.
17. I suspect she is planning to put a harrassment case after I go back to India, and now
that I am living apart she doesnot have much evidence on me.
18. I have spoken to her parents and they all support her.
19. Now every day she calls and threatens me that she will take my passport number and
report it to USCIS that I am harrassing her and that I should be immediately sent to India.
Every time she threatened me, I acted as per her wishes to avoid any problems and
embrassment. but now I am really worried about my aged parents and am very scared about the
situation. I many times asked her to join me but she doesnot want to leave the job as she
is highly paid in her work place. but some times she says she wants to come on leave for a
month. My biggest fear is if she visits for a month then she could create any false
allegation on me and call the cops or report something at my client place I will be in a
mess.
She many times tells me that she wants divorce from me and when ever I agree for the same,
she starts saying she will put a harrassment case.She also tells me if she comes to know on
my arrival date to india she will arrage for cops to catch me at the airport.
Few things she has told me about her requirements.
1. She wants me to be totally submissive to her, give all my salary and savings to her and
further use money for my personal expenses also upon her permission.
2. Stop all contacts with my parents, sister and my relatives.
3. Write the house in her name only - Currently it is in both our names.
4. Look after her parents and brother.
We dont have any children yet as she was career oriented from the beginning and didnot want
to have a kid early. I also contacted a lawyer and the lawyer is saying since my wife's
tendency is very fluctuating I will be jeopadising my job by making a trip to India.
My questions are
1. How can I safeguard my self in the US from her false allegations?
2. How can I get divorced to her being in the US as I am very afraid of going to India?
3. Also my passport will expire next year end, will it be any problem to renew the passport
or Visa extension?
4. Can they file a 498a on me when I am here?
last 7 years of my marriage have been hell and I am tired of taking abuses from my wife,
Need urgent help with my situation.
**** **** **** *
Background of my sad marriage situation.
1. I got married in India in 2003, we are hindu brahmins. and my wife is working.
2. I Was living with parents after marriage for a year, my wife was not happy living with
them then one day she had a big quarrel with my parents and me and she ran away from home
and she threatened to put a case against me unless I stay apart from my parents so my
father asked me to stay apart to avoid any further quarrel with her.
3. So I moved out of my parents house by purchasing a house in 2005 on loan.
4. 2006 - My wife got a chance to visit USA on B1 for 3 months from her company, So she
started bugging me to look for job opportunities in the US. however we used to have regular
quarrels when ever I went to my parents place. She completely stopped talking to my parents
and also stopped visiting them also.
5. 2007 - I Changed my job and moved to a company which was sending people to US
ondeputation. I travelled to USA on a short visit same year. once my parents wanted to
visit my house but she quarrelled and didnot allow them to enter the house, so they never
visited my house, I only used to visit them once in 15 days.
6. 2008 - My wife again came to the US for a short visit. and started bugging me to apply
for long term visa as her company was willing to send her.we used to have regular fights
even if I would talk to my parents once a week.She was quarrelling and threatening me not
go meet them even during festivals. Also her sister started living in my house as she came
in search of job.
7. 2009 Jan - I got my work visa and got a long term project in the US and she asked me to
go ahead and take the opportunity and she will follow me from her job.
8. 2009 April - My father under went By-Pass surgery and so I went back to india for a
month and didnot want to come back and wanted to look after him however my wife started
threatening me that if I stay with my parents and leave my US opportunity, she will put a
false harrassment case against me. so I came back to USA after my father was discharged
from hospital.
9. 2009 June - Her work Visa got stamped. and she told me she would come by october.
10. 2009 october - She could not get through the project so she started bugging me to leave
my job and join her.
11. 2009 dec - She started threatening that if I dont write the purchased house in her
name, she will put a false dowry harrassment case on my parents and me.and if I give the
house she will amicably divorce me.
12. 2010 Jan - She got another opportunity to travel to USA, so she asked me to stay in the
same project and wanted to join and continue with the marriage,
13. 2010 March - She got to know that she was again not selected in her project for onsite.
So she has got very very frustrated and she called my office and reported false harrassment
against her from me and asked them to send me back to India. But company didnot take any
action as luckily the telephone operator knew about me.
14. Her parents are living with her in my house now. I am paying full EMI for the house.
15. She also sent a false suicide letter to her manager in her company blaming me and my
parents for her to commit sucide.
16. Now she is making false alegations on me by writing mails to my companies ombudsperson
and other higher authorities that she wants me to come back leaving the job.
17. I suspect she is planning to put a harrassment case after I go back to India, and now
that I am living apart she doesnot have much evidence on me.
18. I have spoken to her parents and they all support her.
19. Now every day she calls and threatens me that she will take my passport number and
report it to USCIS that I am harrassing her and that I should be immediately sent to India.
Every time she threatened me, I acted as per her wishes to avoid any problems and
embrassment. but now I am really worried about my aged parents and am very scared about the
situation. I many times asked her to join me but she doesnot want to leave the job as she
is highly paid in her work place. but some times she says she wants to come on leave for a
month. My biggest fear is if she visits for a month then she could create any false
allegation on me and call the cops or report something at my client place I will be in a
mess.
She many times tells me that she wants divorce from me and when ever I agree for the same,
she starts saying she will put a harrassment case.She also tells me if she comes to know on
my arrival date to india she will arrage for cops to catch me at the airport.
Few things she has told me about her requirements.
1. She wants me to be totally submissive to her, give all my salary and savings to her and
further use money for my personal expenses also upon her permission.
2. Stop all contacts with my parents, sister and my relatives.
3. Write the house in her name only - Currently it is in both our names.
4. Look after her parents and brother.
We dont have any children yet as she was career oriented from the beginning and didnot want
to have a kid early. I also contacted a lawyer and the lawyer is saying since my wife's
tendency is very fluctuating I will be jeopadising my job by making a trip to India.
My questions are
1. How can I safeguard my self in the US from her false allegations?
2. How can I get divorced to her being in the US as I am very afraid of going to India?
3. Also my passport will expire next year end, will it be any problem to renew the passport
or Visa extension?
4. Can they file a 498a on me when I am here?
last 7 years of my marriage have been hell and I am tired of taking abuses from my wife,
Need urgent help with my situation.
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